His Tale

- Go to sleep, little one.

- I am not sleepy! Tell me a tale, please...

- What tale would you like to hear, little one?

- I want... I want...

He watched the child's face, as she frowned with a little serious face, and the smile thereafter.

- I want the tale of the old man creating his creatures!

He smiled, too.

- You have heard this a million times already.

- I'd like to hear it again...

Let's hear it, little one, he nodded. The old tale.

The man was not old at all. He maybe didn't have any age, he just lived there, ever, far away. Every time he woke up, and thought: I am here, and I live my life, but what is my purpose? You know, he was all alone. He has always been alone. It wasn't sad for him for he did not know, how it would be not to be alone. He wandered all day in the fields, looked at the grass growing, the sun shining, watched the wind and the clouds. He never been hungry, and he did not sleep because he was tired but he just did what it have felt appropriate.

One day, he felt he knew what he wanted. He wanted change. He wanted his world to have something new, something unexpected, something to keep him interested. To keep him busy.

So he stood up, and started to work. He wanted to create, to make something what never has been before. It was easy for him, easier, than he thought. He moved his hands, and his mind, and held his desire and formed it to something new. And there was a little rabbit! It was grayish with white spots, looked back at him, then started to hop away, looking for the juicy, fresh grass. He laughed, looking at the little hopping furball. He watched it as it started happily to bite the fresh, green grass.

He enjoyed the view, so created another bunny. This one appeared white, with bright, red eyes and fluffy tail. The second bunny started to walk away, then happily hopping towards the first one. In no time they started to play catch-me-if-you-can in the deep, soft green grass. He sat back, and smiled at the little, happy creatures.

The next day, he felt he have to do. He formed the air and mud and his thoughts into a crow. It was black, beautiful, with strong, grey-orange beak. It flied away, as he watched, and started flying around him. He created one more, which flied up, so he created some and watched the black dots to circle in the deep blue sky.

In the next days, and maybe weeks, he started to create more of those creatures. Each of them was somehow special, some was a better, or different one like those before, some were new and exciting. He enjoyed the little moving and crawling and flying creatures all around, and watched them for long times, as they explored the world, and started to live their own little lives.

After a while he stopped creating new creatures, only watched them whole day, in amazement and excitement.

And the time passed. He realized that something has indeed changed, but the animals went off to the forests and deserts, and rarely ever came back to him. He felt those creatures were good things but somthing, something deep inside he still missed. He was sure, he had further work to do.

One day, watching the first two rabbits, he realized, that they still were playing together. Maybe he need someone like himself? The thought was interesting, but he was not sure he was ready to try to create a creature like himself. Those animals were so easy to create... He sighed. This day, first time in this world, he was worried, when he went to sleep.

The next day he sat at his favourite place on the top of the little hill next to his sleeping place, and started to gather his thoughts. He was thinking about himself. How good he knew himself anyway? Did he know his own flaws, and his good sides? What made him someone calling himself "me"? He shook his head and sighed. Then he started to think, and to form an image, and tried to give his best into this creation.

A body was formed. It wasn't small as rabbits, and not big as mammouths, just about his own size. He watched the body forming, and looked at the world around. He was not sure how this creation will be, but he wanted to make it happy, as the other creatures it created. So he thought one, and another body formed, hanging in the summerlike warm air. Both were in forming, changing... He watched, smiled, and continued the work. He did not want to hurry, he wanted to make those creatures as best as he can. Maybe not even that will be enough, but he had to try. Make them as close to himself as he was able to.

The time passed, as he gave his own thoughts and little happinesses to the pair of creatures. He made them different, as he did the animals different in pairs, but similar enough to one another, and to himself. It was almost evening, when he felt they are ready, let them down to the ground, and watched them.

- I need to give them a name, - he thought. - They are people.

The people sighed a deep breath, and looked around. They looked at him, then to each other, then at the grass and trees in the still golden shines of the sun. He looked at them, with passion.

- You are the people, I have created you to be my company, and to share this wonderful world with me.

- Who are you? - asked the woman, one of them people.

He frowned, and sunk into his thoughts. Then looked up, and answered:

- Create me a name. Tell me my name.

The woman looked back, think a bit then nodded:

- You are god.

He breathed deeply, and murmurred:

- So, that's I am.

Then looked at them.

- Please, look around. Meet my animals. See this wonderful land. You are free to do anything. I do not want you to be my tools, I want you to be my friends. You have your freedom, enjoy it.

- You created us. - Told the man. - We owe you.

- No, no, no... - he shake his head - You are just like the other creatures, free to live. I just ask you to come, sometimes, and spend a little time with me, share your experiences and your view of this world.

And the people agreed, and went off the land.

And the days passed days, and the time has flown.

The people once in a while met him, and talked to him. He convinced them, that they are free, and they don't have to do what he wants, but would be pretty nice if they would help him to escape his loneliness.

But somehow, some way, the people feared and honoured him, and they did not talk straight and honest to him. He realized that he was alone, again, with followers but no friends.

So he asked them again to be equal with him, to be fearless. The people have listened to him thoughtfully. They started to walk around in his house, looking around.

In two or three days the peole have stolen some of his tools. He thought maybe they have believed those are to be used when creating life, or maybe it was just the desire of property. He became angry, sad, and told the people to leave his place, and with one of his most powerful thoughts so far he have blown them off the land, all the creatures, to an other land, far, far away.

He was extremely disappointed. How those creatures could be so cruel, so thankless? They were just like him, they were almost himself and yet they cheated upon him. His sadness was deep.

Yet, he still watched the people. They started to grow and grow, in number and knowledge. He have hoped, one day, maybe they'll learn about themselves, forget their bad habits, which was, most probably because of his lack of knowledge when have created them, and meet him again to be friends.

When he thought the time has come, and, even more, when he cannot take the loneliness anymore, showed himself to them, and asked them to be his friends.

They asked: Who are you?

He answered: I'm god, you remember, the One your parents have told you about. I am your friend.

But they remembered the name, and told him: You are the creator, you are our father, you are our Lord!

He cried: No, I am your friend! I created you to blow my solitude away, to talk with you about this world, and to enjoy the view of the dawning sun...

But they bowed, and prayed, and hailed him. They asked him for guidance, they asked him to help them, asked to make their life happier.

He tried to help them, while he wasn't sure he understands their request at all. They did not want to get advices, they wanted to get help. They did not want to get knowledge, they wanted to get goods. He gave as he can, but understood, that these people will never be his friends, not then or later. He left them to live their own lives.

He went back to the land where all this have begun, where all this spinning madness originated, where he, with his hands, tried to create beings like himself. Every day, he woke up to the silence, to his own breath echoing in the empty place, and the warm whirring of the green leaves and the soft touch of the summer wind. He walked alone, watched the forest, and the clouds, and been thinking about what he have done wrong, where did he failed to do the right thing. Sometimes he looked at the world he created, and what it has became under the rule of the people, and shaken his head in disbelief and bitterness. No, those creatures just look like him, they have almost all of his talent, but somehow, they do not see the joy of creation. They create for the power and personal satisfaction, and not because they want to make something to watch as happily hopping away, as the first little bunny in the world.

And the days have passed, and the world of the people have changed, and generations came and go, but his world was the same, warm and lonely place.

He became old, he felt the age now, he was like a huge tree in the middle of the largest forest in the world, an ever living tree, giving a caring ceiling to the world beneath, but being too high to reach, to climb. He felt tired.

But he still has his powers, and one day, he decided to try it again, despite his old, ever lasting failure.

He decided that he was not perfect, he shall not create a being just like him, making the same mistakes as he and his old mighty creatures have done. He wanted to create friends, who care about him, who understand that how beautiful a leaf could be in the dawning sunshine, how bright the light could be what a night star reflects in his soul, how happy the laugh could be that they could share. He did not want to create something like him, he wanted to create something what could be perfect, what can understand the world, his world, and be greater and wiser than himself.

And he decided, and he went to the little hill where he have created the first pair of people so long ago, and concentrated, and have created something new. Created his own reflection, without his frame of mind and mistakes, without his pains and sorrows. A new being have born.

- You still not sleep, little one? - he looked to her with love.

- What a beautiful tale! - she said in sleepy voice, and sighed happily. - And how did this new cerature look like?

He smiled:

- It has little bright eyes, two little hands, two little legs... just like him. It was a small, yet very similar being like him...

- It was a child, wasn't it? - emitted she a sleepy smile.

- Yes, - he fondled her hair, - it was a child. And he created more and more of them.

- And they became friends? Did they understand him, finally? - asked him, as she slowly entered the land of dreams.

- Yes, they have grown and seen the beauty of the land, without the old, bad feelings of him, without the struggle to be equal to him. They have played with him, and not worshipped him, like the humans did.

- He was not lonely anymore... - said she before she fell asleep.

- Yes. - he told in low, warm voice. - I wasn't lonely anymore.

(grin, 1999/12/12)