I DENY ALL RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANYTHING HAPPENED TO THE READER (that's you, dumbass!) BY READING OR SENSING BY ANY MEANS MY PAGES, OR READING THIS ALL-CAPS BULLSHIT. (Actually all-caps is required by US. lawyers because they are too stupid to read smallcaps letters.)
This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some
assembly may be required. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during
shipment. Use only as directed. May be too intense for some viewers. If
condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside.
Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. Not responsible for direct,
indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error
or failure to perform. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Substantial
penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Your cancelled
check is your receipt. Avoid contact with skin. Employees and their families
are not eligible. Beware of dog. Driver does not carry cash. Limited time
offer, call now to insure prompt delivery. Use only in well-ventilated area.
Keep away from fire or flame. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does
not include taxes, dealer prep, or delivery. Penalty for private use. Call
toll free before digging. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product
appear for identification purposes only. All models over 18 years of age. Do
not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be
paid by addressee. Apply only to affected area. One size fits all. Many
suitcases look alike. Edited for television. No solicitors. Reproduction
strictly prohibited. Restaurant package, not for resale. Objects in mirror
are closer than they appear. Decision of judges is final.
If you break it you own both parts.
Keep away from children. Inhalation may cause dizziness, vomiting, fainting
or immediate death. Do not shake. Publication expressly prohibited.
Keepcool. Process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List
was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on
file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or
consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to
perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for
private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early
withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays
maximum rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp
here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each
item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly
higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not
eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions
before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You
must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase
necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading
within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated are. Keep away
from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths
for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is
optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended
for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly
prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless
otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two
alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before
digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in
this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional
transactions on back of previous stub. Unix is a registered trademark of
AT&T. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus
comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage
may vary. This article does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either
myself, my company, my friends, or my cat. Don't quote me on that. Don't
quote me on anything. All rights reserved. You may distribute this article
freely but you may not make a profit from it. Terms are subject to change
without notice. Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail. Any
resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely
coincidental. Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law. Hand wash
only, tumble dry on low heat. Do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle. No
substitutions allowed. For a limited time only. This article is void where
prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. Caveat emptor. Article is
provided "as is" without any warranties. Reader assumes full responsibility.
An equal opportunity article. No shoes, no shirt, no articles. quantities
are limited while supplies last. If any defects are discovered, do not
attempt to read them yourself, but return to an authorized service center.
Read at your own risk. Parental advisory - explicit lyrics. Text may contain
explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is
advised. Keep away from sunlight. Keep away from pets and small children.
Limit one-per-family please. No money down. No purchase necessary. You need
not be present to win. Some assembly required. Batteries not included.
Instructions are included. Action figures sold separately. No preservatives
added. Slippery when wet. Safety goggles may be required during use. Sealed
for your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken. Call before you
dig. Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse. For external use
only. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue
reading. Read only with proper ventilation. Avoid extreme temperatures and
store in a cool dry place. Keep away from open flames. Avoid contact with
eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes. Do not puncture, incinerate, or
store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not place near a flammable or
magnetic source. Smoking this article could be hazardous to your health. The
best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a condom. No salt,
MSG, artificial color or flavoring added. If ingested, do not induce
vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician. May cause any of the
aforementioned effects and/or death. Articles are ribbed for your pleasure.
Possible penalties for early withdrawal. Offer valid only at participating
sites. Slightly higher west of the Rockies. Allow four to six weeks for
delivery. Must be 18 to read. Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident,
lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake,
hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper reading,
incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or
marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation
from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are
not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship
sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item,
falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or
projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot,
BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha,
Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.). Other restrictions may apply.
No other warranty expressed or implied.
This supersedes all previous notices.